by David Bork
#4 in 4-part series based on “The Happiness Advantage“ 1
Are you happy?
What we have learned in the previous three columns is that happiness is a choice. Happiness is not something that comes to you from somewhere in the universe. It comes from within. It is not about seeking and achieving and then you become happy. You choose to be happy first. It is an internal attitude that you elect and it permeates all parts of your life.
Achor cited a study, appropriately titled “Very Happy People,“ that there was one — only one characteristic that distinguished the happiest 10 percent from everybody else. It was the strength of their social relationships.
Daniel Goleman reported MIT researchers found that employees with strong ties to their manager brought in more money than those with only weak ties. Each employee bested the company average by $588 of revenue each month. 2
Add to this data from Gallup who asked ten million employees around the world if they could agree or disagree with the following statement: “My supervisor, or someone at work seems to care about me as a person.“ Those who agreed were found to be more productive, contributed more to profits and were significantly more likely to stay with this company longterm.“
The data tells us what successful aging is and how it can be achieved. Study members seem constantly to be reinventing their lives. They do not flinch from acknowledging how hard life is, but they also never lost sight of why one might want to keep on living it. Often the subjects looked on life as a book filled with many different chapters. When one chapter was finished, they were compelled to go on to the next chapter. When they lost a friend through death or distance, they made new friends. It meant cultivating relationships with surviving old friends and success in making new ones.
Vaillant concluded that after 70 years of studying these men, the evidence overwhelmingly pointed out that one’s relationships with other people matter, and matter more than anything else in this world.“ 3
John Cacioppo 4 concluded from more than thirty years of research that lack of social connections is just as deadly as certain diseases. People with few social ties where two or three times more likely to suffer from major depression than those with strong social bonds.
When we blend all of this information into a package, it is clear that relationships in the family business , what Achor calls “social investment“ is a factor in both success and level of satisfaction.
The Beattles wrote the song and then Joe Cocker re-worked the words — it went like this:
“I get by with a little help from my friends…
Achor has some suggestions for us when it comes to building relationships. While his data is generic, it relates to concepts I identified more than twenty years ago. That concept addressed the importance of building and maintaining relationships in family business. It is as if family members have a “relationship bank“ into which they must make deposits. Then, as they work together and together must face difficult or stressful matters, they can draw on those deposits to help them through whatever the relationship challenge might be.
To build good working relationships in family business one must be pro-active in making “social investments“ in one another. Here are some specific things that can be done:
Thus, we bring to a close the series on “The Happiness Advantage,“ by Shawn Achor. His presentation of information is powerful, convincing and, in my opinion, the principles he advocates stand the test of time. Few persons, on their deathbed are focused on the size of their bank accounts or other “things.“ Most people at that stage treasure the relationships they have had and the people who are important to them.
Achor’s contribution is his passionate insistence that we all can make the happiness choice.
Family Business Matters has extensive experience assisting family businesses. With many decades of experience, we understand the wide variety of challenges that families face as they work together to build, grow and sustain a thriving family business generation after generation. Through conferences, continuing education programs, family business retreats, speaking engagements and private family business consulting services, Family Business Matters has assisted more than 450 family-owned businesses around the world chart their way through family business issues of all shapes and sizes.
For more information on how Family Business Matters can help your family business survive and thrive, please contact us today at (970) 948-5077.
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